If I were Elvis rich I’d create a research group that would do nothing but create scientifically valid polls and studies for questions I’ve always had. E.g. how many unopened Yankee Candles does the average household have? Theoretically speaking Yankee Candle should be out of business - simple supply vs. demand. There are probably millions of candles stockpiled in America’s linen closets. I need a study to get to the bottom of this.
Other ideas for studies:
- Are there any statistically significant differences between cat people and dog people?
- Does anyone actually think Patchouli smells good? And why do habitual marijuana smokers think it hides their drug use?
- What percentage of the population finds the Family Circus funny.